Conflict in divorce
Conflict in divorce or at any time in your life, can be all consuming.
Conversations or situations playing over and over in your mind, keeping you riled, sapping your energy and becoming both physically and emotionally exhausting.
It can also make people feel powerless, as if something or someone else is in control of their life.
An opportunity for change
However, conflict can also be used as an opportunity for change.
Even if change wasn’t what you had expected or planned, it doesn’t mean you can’t maintain or regain control of your life, decide how you move forward, how you feel, and remain in control of how you behave or respond.
It doesn't have to be like this
We often believe that the way we feel is at the mercy of those around us, due to how they treat us and behave towards us, whether that is at home, at work, in our friendship groups or other situations.
There have been countless times I have heard people say the same things happen to them, or they get treated the same way by others, over and over again, like a repeating pattern, feeling that friends or colleagues take advantage of them or constantly let them down.
The effects of this can be demoralising and erode your self confidence, but it doesn’t have to be like this….. you actually have the key to change this, within yourself, as you always have the choice in how to respond and react to those around you.
Take back control of your life
I have seen how Conflict-Coaching can help people unlock their own ability to take back control of their lives, change their mindset and move forward on their own terms.
It has never ceased to amaze me, during my time as a mediator and conflict coach when having spent time with someone they say how helpful it has been, and actually at that stage of the process, the help they were referring to was simply us listening to them, without judgement or advice. What we did do however was create the space for them to speak, think and be listened to.
This is invaluable and we tend not to provide this type of space and time for ourselves, giving ourselves the opportunity to hear our own thoughts out loud.
For many of us, we turn to friends or colleagues when we need support which is of course also invaluable, but often this time is met with opinions and advice which is not always what we need.
Once you are ready to find a way forward for yourself, understanding that it’s not about trying to change the people around us, but about taking ownership of our own responses, you are ready to begin the journey of empowering yourself to find freedom from the conflict .